Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
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I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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