My friends, they love my intelligence
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
