You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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