why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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