I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
