He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
