real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
