I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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