Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize