Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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