whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
