it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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