i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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