the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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