I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
