And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
