let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
