Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
