I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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