Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
