these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We need to get me chipped asap
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
