Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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