I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
