i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
