Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
