So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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