; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
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we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
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He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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