We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
