He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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