I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
