I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
