"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My penis needs a shock collar
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
