He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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