Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize