it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
