They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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