Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
