I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
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It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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