If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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