Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
