is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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