out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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