the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
