Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
