Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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