is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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