Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
