You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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