u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yo dont text me then not text me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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