They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This house was built for laser tag.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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