The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
