Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
