Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Found the puke drawer
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
