Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
