Ambien. No doubt about it.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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