i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
