So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
