addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
