Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
