Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
