i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
