His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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