just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
