Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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